


Caught You

by EgotisticalManiac (Garretsyndrome)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-03
Updated: 2012-08-03
Packaged: 2017-11-11 08:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/476410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garretsyndrome/pseuds/EgotisticalManiac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a letter on the table the night he left. </p><p>A letter conveying everything he wanted to say... But didn't have the chance to, until it was too late.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught You

Caught You

_“Time has a way of healing… so they say… So why am I still left here?”_

_Is he a better lover than I? …_

 

 

> Ever since I gave my whole heart to the one I desired the most, I knew I'd get my pathetic heart broken in the end. That's why I was so scared. Too scared to hold on to you. I know, I'm not supposed to feel sorry for myself – the whole self-pitying thing, it doesn't suit me. Ask all of those people who know me (or rather, PRETEND to _know_ me). They’d even bash your teeth in just to prove you wrong.
> 
> I'm not supposed to be like this... right? – Well, at least I thought I wasn't. 
> 
> I thought that I could overcome just about anything that comes my way by putting on a fake smile in front of everyone, and act like this wretched cheery bastard who cannot be put down even for a damned second...
> 
> I thought I was like this. Because that's how everyone saw me and wanted to see me. This is how they wanted me to be in front of them. How they labeled me. And I was fooled by them … and by my own self. A smoke and mirrors effect.
> 
> But you...
> 
> You were the only one who didn't see me for who I pretended to be, and did not let how others perceived my existence, influence your judgment. You believed in me and were not fooled by the ill projection I had been showing you and the rest of the world. You saw right through the mask I had been wearing all my life, and made me feel something I have never felt before. You treated me exactly how you saw me, showing it to me with no hesitations; the one who opened my eyes to who I really am. Who I could be. You saw something in me that I didn't even know was there until you came...
> 
> You made me feel unique and tried to make me understand of how I was fooling others; especially myself. You pointed out each and every flaw that I have, which maddened and confused me at the same time. To think that I'd have the gall to be mad at the only person who only wanted to help me -- and to whom I wanted to give my life, my everything, to. 
> 
> I hated you for reading me like a book. Many others have tried to dictate and somewhat label me of who I am; WHO I MUST BE. Even if in truth, I was the one who knew them. They themselves didn't even know who they truly were even in the deepest realms of their chaotic minds. They keep on butting into other people's lives just because they, too, are searching for their own selves. They go on life like they can redefine it, regardless of what they broke or may break along the way. Determined on living with what they believe they are. Labeling themselves as something they aren't even sure of. Funny how humans can be both stubborn and fools; both at the same time...
> 
> I LOVED YOU. No.
> 
> …
> 
> _I LOVE YOU._
> 
> I DO.
> 
> AND STILL DO.
> 
> _ETERNALLY_.
> 
> You are the greatest thing that had ever happened in my life, why did I have to push you away? Now, catching you in the arms of another, with nothing to do but watch until my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces... Nothing, but wait until the wind scatters them and let the rays of the warm sun dry my hopeless tears into oblivion… until I can’t cry no more.
> 
> I desired you.
> 
> I wanted you for myself.
> 
> I know I haven’t got the right to CLAIM you - to POSSESS you - but still, I wanted to.
> 
> _I CRAVED IT._
> 
> I’m guilty as charged.
> 
> Was it so wrong to love you, MORE than myself?
> 
> More than I SHOULD?
> 
> Was I wrong to push the one I loved the most to prevent that very person from being hurt? As I’m afraid I would do?
> 
> _I’m Sorry._
> 
> I’m tired of saying that.
> 
> But every time I utter those two hateful words, I mean them.
> 
> …Especially, when I am saying those words to YOU.
> 
> You are everything I have.
> 
> I’m sorry for everything.
> 
> Please forgive me.
> 
> ~~_I love you._ ~~
> 
> **Gin**

*****

Rangiku held the letter close to her chest, sobbing lightly as the memories of him flooded through her mind. She wondered where and when everything started to go wrong. Why she, herself, didn't realize that he, too, was suffering.

He was suffering just like her. The only difference was, it was _all for her._ 

 

At a loss for words, she cried silently; mourning as if she had just lost a dear, old friend - which she probably already had. And there's nothing she knew of that could possibly bring him back. 

 

**  
**

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I hope you get what I was trying to portray here. :) Please tell me if the plot is a bit vague in some parts. I'd be glad to edit it. :] And I'm new at this so I'm very sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> This wasn't really intended to be a shipping story but I thought that Gin kinda suited the scenario at the later parts so I just continued on with it. :D Please bear with me.
> 
> P.S. This was inspired by the song Evidence by: Urbandub, where I got the first opening line and tag lines from. Just so you know. You can go listen to it while reading, if you want. It somehow adds a solemn effect. Lol.


End file.
